Sikketh's Blog

The Deathbat

June 15, 2010 at 5:11 am (Uncategorized)

A lot of people have seen me walking around with my Avenged Sevenfold necklace and sporting their shirts all the time, and some have asked me what my obsession was all about, why I devoted so much energy into being a walking billboard for the band.  This wasn’t always the case, though.  This has only really happened after the death of Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan, Avenged Sevenfold’s drummer.

All through my life I was going around in a fog, surrounding myself in darkness and sadness, and creating self-fulfilling negative prophecies and generally tearing myself apart.  I was always down and miserable about everything, and I never really let anyone get too close to me.  Music helped me cope with my self-inflicted pain, and A7X was a big part of it.  “I Won’t See You Tonight (Part 1)” always brought me to tears when I was on the edge of depression, the song got me to think about what it would be like for the ones I loved if I had left them.

I was a 250lb. depressing pile of flesh when I heard of Jimmy’s passing.  This was the punch in the face I needed to motivate myself to get better.  He passed away at the age of 29, and I was 21.  That was what I needed to see to realize how stupid I was being.  Sure, he was young, but he was in a successful band and I imagine he was happy with the things he had.  I’m young, too, and unhappy only through my own downward thinking.

I changed my computer monitor’s background to a white deathbat, so I could have Avenged Sevenfold’s logo staring at me when I woke up.  I started to take a real look at my life, and started getting myself a bit more active, walking my dog every once in a while where previously I left her alone.  I bought Avenged Sevenfold’s shirts so I could see the deathbat in the mirror.  I bought a deathbat necklace so I could see it when I didn’t have a shirt on.

Today, I’m 230 pounds and working my way down.  I listen to Avenged Sevenfold when I work out, and find more motivation and energy in the music than depressing vibes I had found before.  I’m waking up from my Nightmare.